The Impossible Music Dictionary (humor)

Discussions relating to performance, interpretation, score preparation, musica ficta etc.
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CHGiffen
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The Impossible Music Dictionary (humor)

Post by CHGiffen »

THE IMPOSSIBLE MUSIC DICTIONARY

Accordion - A small portable, heart-rending instrument reminding one of a taffy pull.
Ad libitum - A license to commit any musical crime.
Accelerando - The particular spot in any composition where the fingers get locomotor ataxia.
Accompaniment - The chief annoyance to the Prima Donna.
Andante - The name applied by music teachers to the collection of bills.
Arpeggios - The climax in the pupils' recital.
Basso profundo - The voice reserved for villains and high priests in grand opera.
Bassoon - The accomplice of the English horn in any operatic outbreak-exceedingly hard to capture or suppress.
Baton - The sceptre of the conductor - usually an illusion.
Concerto - A pitched battle between any instrument and any orchestra. Orchestra usually triumphs over the soloist.
Diaphragm - Where the whole trouble began.
Encore - The penalty of popularity.
Figured Bass - Musical arithmetic.
Fine - A term of relief of great importance to players and audience as well.
Fugue - The indoor sport of Johan Sebastian Bach.
Glissando - Tobagganning on the keyboard.
Legato - The daily prayer of all music teachers.
Melody - X in the musical algebra of the Futurist.
Madrigal - Why the glee club broke down.
Obligato - The accomplice in any vocal misdemeanor.
Pedal - The hectic camouflage of bad playing.
Register - The mirage of the vocal teacher.
Serenade - A night song-usually sung under a window and accompanied with an obligato of bric-a-brac.
Secondo - The helpless part in a duet.
Tutti - Free for all.
Tremolo - A disease, particularly dangerous to tenors and sopranos.

(Etude, Aug. 18, 1936)
Charles H. Giffen
CPDL Board of Directors Chair
Admin at & Manager of ChoralWiki
vaarky
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Re: The Impossible Music Dictionary (humor)

Post by vaarky »

Love these. Is there a URL for these?
bobnotts
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Re: The Impossible Music Dictionary (humor)

Post by bobnotts »

vaarky wrote:Love these. Is there a URL for these?
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=5549
:D
Rob Nottingham
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carlos
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Re: The Impossible Music Dictionary (humor)

Post by carlos »

bobnotts wrote:
vaarky wrote:Love these. Is there a URL for these?
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=5549
:D
:lol: :lol: :lol:
anaigeon
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Re: The Impossible Music Dictionary (humor)

Post by anaigeon »

Though not being a native English speaker, I had found this one some day :
Flat : an accidental often found in Christopher Tire's music :lol:
CHGiffen
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Re: The Impossible Music Dictionary (humor)

Post by CHGiffen »

I love it! :)

Appoggiatura - Gesundheit!
Oboe - An ill wind that nobody blows well.
Polyphony - Archaic form of musical sin, replaced by homophony.
Charles H. Giffen
CPDL Board of Directors Chair
Admin at & Manager of ChoralWiki
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